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460>_633346
First of all I want to thank all the fine brats who showed up for the Christmas party at my shack next to the railway track. I did expect a couple of more girlies of course but I'll reckon that had a little something to do with a bunch of scout girls that got stuck in a railway strike a couple of villages ahead and I do understand that such fragile little creatures aren't too eager to stumble through the woods in the dark. Imagine they'd run into some red-nosed reindeer guy, hey, you know what I mean! But I'll treat you with some pictures and an audio report from my foolin' around with my theosophist friends who all came over and stayed for the night, you know what I mean! Culturcide wanted to spill the guests' appetite by blurting about their Depressed Christmas but I quickly interferred and called in Suicide with a prayer Hey Lord to set things straight. Everybody then got back in the mood because James Brown told us that Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto, and yes oh my some of the ghetto girls got in a dancing mood already! While everybody set out to unfold the tents for later that night Brenda Lee whipped them with some soft Jingle Bell Rock. Stompin' Tom Connors lit the campfire and soon the girls sung along with Gloria. Then unfortunately Loo and Placido made a quite quick move and told they were ready for a real Horny Christmas. That definitely shook ass because soon after Hillary Clinton performed a stunning version of Rudolph the Deep Throat Reindeer. By now my head was spinning with visions of Hillary's wild behind that ToToM called me Rudolph the Paranoid Reindeer. When I really wanted to get going however The Reverend Horton Heat yelled out Run Rudolph Run and that was actually he first little downer of the evening. I grabbed myself together and whispered to Arthur Lyman to bring back some order with his Mele Kalikimaka version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and gracefully he did. In the meantime I did manage to lure some girls into one of the smaller tents and The Going Thing was telling us smoothly to Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and that was just what I had in mind when suddenly Frank Sinatra was crooning about Mistletoe and Holly. My God, could that be the ravishingly Holly from the Bastard Art Gallery? I pulled up my pants and hurried out the smaller tent towards the mistletoe but damn, everybody had gone and only left behind was a Korean Little Drummer Boy! Damn me, was I going to miss all the hot'n'ready action again or what? I decided to bargain Mr Fab into some dirtiness and he agreed most wilful with a fine performance of G-L-O-RIAA. By now I was shivering with excitement because it would be soon now before I would find my tender luck in the Silent Night that by now Shakin' Stevens was cooking up. I was already wriggling with clothes in another small tent when Brenda Lee came fluttering by, wishing me a Happy Holiday. But I had my eyes set on Claudine Longet who was swirling her jet black hair back and forth and twisting her behind very much towards me. When I was all ready to curl around her hot thighs I heard her whisper I Don't Intend to Spend Christmas without You, but that was in her damn mobile phone! Ah damn, I really do hate those mobile phones! As you can imagine I was having a depressed Christmas myself by now so I drank some more Grand Marnier I could bear and withdrew into my dreams with Mae West whom I declared all My New Year's Resolutions. It appeared that I left my taperecorder running that night, so with some extra spinning of my usual turntables and microphone, cassette player and a synthesizer I managed to squeeze it all into 44.44 minutes so all you boys but even more you girls can also enjoy some of my Christmas imagination. Yours truly, Carl Cryplant
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460>_633347
Well you ungrateful brats probably expected me to rot in hell or find my body lying in the earth, bereft of consciousness, like a useless piece of wood, which is thrown away. But no my dearest kiddies I am still alive and kicking, and as a matter of fact I'm inviting you all to come to my shack next to the railroad track to celebrate the wonderful time of Christmas when everybody is giving love to everybody. As you can see on the cover picture my shack is already in full Christmas flavour and I'm completely red-nosed and ready to get all that love from especially you girls. Apart from spinning my usual turntables and microphone, cassete player and a synthesizer to cook up the first fine mix of Christmas Music, I have also invited some friends who will play for you. A Special Personalized Christmas Greeting to You from all the Retailers of America is performed by Erik Lindgren while you get off at the Railway Stop. Then there will be a fine Merry Christmas Baby sung by you most appreciated Mae West. Velvet Santa by Divide and Kreate will get you into the mood and perhaps some of the most hot hearted girls in the dancing shoes! To cater for my Asian friends I selected a Korean version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Good King Wenceslas will be performed by my dear friend Korla Pandit who will also cater for some damn hot Muslim snack food. The Merry Christmas Polka by Jim Reeves is for those who already are in the mood for some naughty love wandering in the woods, but beware - it can be cold out there when you plan to bear some of your flesh! With her Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), Darlene Love will call you all back to my railroad shack where I will announce a very special performance.... Little Drummer Boy & Silent Night by Jimi Hendrix, yes folks, even druggie drummer boys get silent once a night. The Sesame Street Cast will then Wish You a Merry Christmas to introduce the more adventurous among you to a Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes. Those who prefer to stay next to the fire and take off some of their clothing will be invited to do so by Miss Frenchie's White Christmas (Electro Mix). Of course we don't want to disappoint the lovers of some classic Christmas music, so I was thinking of Jingle Bells by Dean Martin, albeit a Dan the Automator Mix - you don't mind since Dean's bones weren't really fit for shake anymore. To please all you Heavenly Creatures of course I also just had to invite Mario Lanza to perform his so touching version of O Christmas Tree. Which brings us to the Lonely Siberian Winter Dj John will tell you all about. Since he's also ever so lonely I thought I'd bring in some Snow for Johnny by Burl Ives. But then he found out that The Hat I Got for Christmas is too Beeg so Mel Blanc will also be there to prepare your horses for another Sleigh Ride by the Flying W Wranlers. I guess by then everybody will be completely naked in my overheated love shack by the railroad track which is just perfect to turn loose Jingle Hell by the Space Negroes. So see you all soon boys & especially you girls! Your beloved, Carl Cryplant.
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460>_633348
Carl Cryplant's Diggin' Music Vol 1, the 4x4th issue of my 'Music in Volumes' was commissioned by the Bastard Art Gallery to commemorate the opening of the gallery on 20 sep 2006. It was performed live at the opening reception. I travelled all the way West with two turntables and a microphone, cassette players and a synthesizer to trash the party. For the sake of history I recorded my set onto a good old & trustworthy C-90 audio-cassette for all you to play it in your walkmen or car stereos while cruising the streets to pick up some girls or boys that went astray in this sick, sick world. Since I'm such a fan of the Bastard Art Gallery's sole artist I decided to make this set into a kind of illustrative tribute of his recent projects. That's why "Please Mr. Gravedigger" opens for 'Diggin' for Gordon', a piece where the artist is digging a hole which could be a grave, but of course we don't really know what's going on. We only know it's a tribute to Gordon Matta-Clark and that we can watch the action 24 hours a day on a webcam. Since I've always been intrigued by detectives of any kind I opted for "Muckraker" because I'm still waiting for the first nitwit who comes up with a plausible real location of the hole the artist's been digging all this time. But hey, I'm not gonna be the muckraker that solves the mystery of James Lee Byars' Tomb! All the problems he's been going through are alike countered in "It's not the Bullet that Kills You, it's the Hole" which is after all another tribute from one artist to another and you should all know about the honour that is among thieves. We should all go "Deeper Underground" just like the artist who is not only literally going deeper underground, but even so taking his work further underground than any other artist could imagine. And still "... Ja das ist Kunst!", it's bloody contemporary art in it's purest form! I always thought these underground artists should be supported, so I trashed in the number One hit "Down Down" which might make the spades shovel up a lot heftier now for the future, and yes, just like "I Will Follow Him" you should too, no mountain too high, no ocean too deep to follow thy bastard artist! Now I hear many of you say that art is in many cases nothing but a "Garbage Dump" and isn't it illegal to start diggin' a hole in a basement after all? But then remember that maybe one day Lucifer will be rising and that'll be the day when you'll come across the "Invocation of My Demon Brother". Remember that both 'Descending Steps for Batan' by Gordon Matta-Clark and 'Icon IV' by Dan Flavin are the basis of the 'Diggin' for Gordon' project and that these are both dedicated to a twin brother who died. But I'm sure most of you by now just want to "Hide U" and assume that nothing is wrong "As Long as He Lies Perfectly Still" and spends his time with Cutups for fun. Well, at least you can say that James Lee Byars is lying perfectly still in his Tomb. But since it's my humble opinion that every artist should get the buck he deserves I'm throwing some stone age classic with "Beethoven's Fifth Gold Digger" to stir up some movement in the art collector and investor's world before pleasing all the young girls & boys that only joined this mad, dirty, perverse, sick, outrageous event to shout out: "It's My Party".... Anyway, I just Dig it! Yours truly, Carl Cryplant. Please Mr. Gravedigger by David Bowie naturally covered up with Muckraker by Rocket from the Tombs overfaded by It's not the Bullet that Kills You, it's the Hole by Laurie Anderson painfully beaten with Deeper Underground by Jamiroquai snapped onto ...Ja das ist Kunst! by Institut für Feinmotorik hit on with Down Down by Status Quo broken on the beat with I Will Follow Him by The Shirelles kinda trashed over with Garbage Dump by Charles Manson halfway joined by Invocation of My Demon Brother by Mick Jagger dropped into with Hide U, a mashup of Kosheen vs. Bomfunk Mc's (Freestyle Mix) masterslaved into As Long as He Lies Perfectly Still by Soft Machine overflown with Beethoven's Fifth Gold Digger, a mashup of Kanye West vs. Beethoven by RebelDjs beaten on the beat with It's My Party by Lesley Gore.
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460>_633349
Hey Frank, Long time no see. I was on the corner of Rue du Château and Place de l'Eglise trying to find some brown dust when this old hag appeared wanting to sell me some of those mushrooms again I lived on for se7en days in a row last time. Since you weren't too wild about my ramblings them, I declined. When the hag left I noticed a small guy hidden under her blue-gray tarpaulin coat. He stuck his dirty face from under it and I could see a pair of bright green eyes almost like rays of light. The most peculiar however was the hole in his head. In a thriftshop I found this kind of auger corkscrew thing which I though was safer than an electric drill. Its main feature was a metal spike, surrounded by a ring of saw-teeth. The first attempt was a fiasco because the needles I used to administer the local anaesthetic proved to be too thin and broke. So I bought some stouter ones and took a tab of LSD to steady my nerves. First I made an incision to the bone and applied the improvised trepan to my bared skull. Driving the spike into the bone however proved impossible. The next day I made a kind of tourniquet with some bandages and a piece of wood. I managed to press the trepan against my skull and started cranking the saw. I took another tab of LSD, and after a long time of sawing just as I was about to break through, I fainted. The next couple of days I felt so embarrassed because although it looked as if I had managed to trepane myself I actually failed to do so. I prepared for a third and final attempt. With the benefit of experience, I found the groove of my previous operation and again I began to saw through the sliver of bone separating me from enlightenment. After some time there was an ominous sounding schlurp and the sound of bubbling. I pulled the trepan out and there was a bit of bone in it, at last! A great gush of blood followed, and in the mirror I could see the blood in the hole rising and falling with the pulsation of my brain. During the next hours I felt my spirits rising and I reached a state of peace, freedom and serenity which has been with me ever since. Apart from my improvised trepan I had nothing but two turntables and a microphone, cassette players and a synthesizer to assist and comfort me, so I recorded my experience into a podcast. Since I'm no good with computers and all that digital stuff I poured it into 44' 44" so you can put it on a good old trustworthy C-90 audio cassette and pop it in your walkman. Your Pal, Carl Cryplant the Enlightened.
Weedies by Bob & Tom overrun with THC by German Shepherds long drugged with Let's Get High Joy Division Style, a mashup of Joy Division vs. Dr Dre by Beau doused with Swedish Designer Drugs by Daan overfaded with Kick that Habit Man by Monte Cazazza beaten on the beat with Wats the Fuck Keburt, a mashup of De Jeugd van Tegenwoordig vs. Fatboy Slim by Genie straight overlapped with Tequila by Function Disorder tripped over with Super Psychedelic Trippy Acid by Sally enlightened with White Light / White Heat by The Velvet Underground unreached with I Couldn't Get High by The Fugs reshuffled with Baby's Got a Crazy Horse Remix, a mashup of The Prodigy vs. The Osmonds by Go Home Productions smoked with Smells Like the White Room, a mashup of Nirvana vs. Cream by RevTed swirled with Moonshine Man Blues by Peter Cleighton with Blind John Davis ripped up with I Woke Up Dreaming by Teenage Jesus and the Jerks.
460>_633350
Carl Cryplant's music production and song lyrics circumscribe a festive space and time outside of the ordinary but within 44'44". It is the utmost example of an oeuvre made by just two turntables and a microphone, some synths and a cassette player, that despoils any Innocence and Beauty. Today's particular Podcast - bordered with flowers and punctuated by birdsong - had a powerful hold on the medieval French imagination of great kindsmen like Gilles de Rais. The polyvalent metaphors of the included tracks lend themselves to very different and sometimes conflicting rhetorical and artistic ends. Carl Cryplant's background in green imagery of warmth, growth, and renewal encourages numerous re-uses of the ritualistic music performance, both sincere and ironic, embracing and distancing. For medieval wizards, Carl Cryplant's podcasts are a perfect vehicle for representing a desire for renewal and fertility of all kinds - social, intellectual, artistic and sexual. The music and song lyrics celebrate the florescence of nudity, landscape, love, and poetry at the same time as they recognize a subtext of defloration, involving deflowered women and the transitory flower. D.A.F. de Sade, Prison de la Bastille, 24 june 1786.
Flower of Scotland by Runrig dusted with Flower King of Flies by The Nice petals dropped in with Une Jolie Fleur (dans une Peau de Vache) by Georges Brassens faded away with Sag Mir Wo Die Blümen Sind by Marlene Dietrich brushed off with Zeven Anjers, Zeven Rozen by Willy Sommers torn apart with Terrorist Flower by Mauro Pawlowski & The Grooms sprayed on with Counting Flowers on the Wall by Eric Heatherley (performed by Oak Ridge Boys) trashed with Flowers by Emilie Simon knocked off with Flowers of Romance by P.I.L. bloomed over with The Flowers that Bloom by Mikado walked away with If You're Going to San Francisco by Scott McKenzie danced upon with La Petite Fleur de Vanille by Fleur de Vanille deflowered with Blue Rosebuds by The Residents coloured with There is a Rose in Spanish Harlem by The Drifters overgrown with Since You've Been Rosenrot, a mashup of Rammstein vs. Kelly Clarkson by DJ Schmolli plastered with Peau de Fleur by Mathieu Chedid.
460>_633351
  1. For Mass murderer Ray Lanker in 1962 at the age of 14 by a shot through the head.
  2. For Spree Killer Eric Borel in 1995 at the age of 16 by a shot through the head.
  3. For Mass Murderer Lorenzo Alvarado in 1999 at the age of 16 by a shot in the head.
  4. For Writer and forger Thomas Chatterton in 1770 at the age of 17 by arsenic poisoning.
  5. For Student Régis Tall in 1970 at the age of 17 by self-immolation.
  6. For Arsonist Murderer Anthony Barbaro in 1974 at the age of 17 by hanging in his prison cell.
  7. For Miss Hungary Csilla Molnar in 1986 at the age of 17 by an overdose of sleeping-pills.
  8. For Teenage Sex-Killer Robert Poulin in 1975 at the age of 18 by a shot through the head.
  9. For Hard Rock lover Ray Belknap in 1985 at the age of 18 by a shot through the head.
  10. For Musician and Teenage-Star Yukiko Okada in 1986 at the age of 18 by jumping out of the 7th storey window of the Sun Music Agency building.
  11. For Terrorist Jamal (Germaine) Lindsay in 2005 19 by blowing up a Piccadilly Line train.
  12. For Actress Olive Thomas in 1920 at the age of 20 by quicksilver-poisoning.
  13. For Student Romas Kalanta in 1972 at the age of 20 by self-immolation.
  14. For Student Jan Palach in 1969 at the age of 21 by self-immolation.
  15. For Mass Murderer Frank Vitkovic in 1987 at the age of 22 by jumping through an office window.
  16. For Musician Ian Curtis in 1980 at the age of 23 by hanging in his kitchen.
  17. For Mass Murderer Edwin Bell in 1999 at the age of 23 by a shot through the head.
  18. For Actress Peg Entwistle in 1932 at the age of 24 by jumping off ‘HollywoodLand’ Mount Lee.
  19. For Actress Lingyu Ruan in 1935 at the age of 24 by an overdose of barbiturates.
  20. For Mass Murderer Patrick Purdy in 1989 at the age of 24 by a shot through the head.
  21. For KKK rape-victimMadge Oberholtzer in 1924 at the age of 25 by mercury bichloride-poisoning.
  22. For Mass Murderer Marc Lepine in 1989 at the age of 25 by a shot through the head.
  23. For Singer songwriter Nick Drake in 1974 at the age of 26 by an overdose of Tryptizol.
  24. For Actor Tony Wheeler in 1997 at the age of 26 by hanging.
  25. For Multiple Murderer John Williams in 1811 at the age of 27 by hanging in his prison cell.
  26. For Writer Georg Trakl in 1914 at the age of 27 by an overdose of cocaïne.
  27. For Adolf Schickel in 1967 at the age of 27 by drowning.
  28. For Spree Killer Michael Ryan in 1987 at the age of 27 by a shot through the head.
  29. For Musician Kurt Cobain in 1994 at the age of 27 by a shot through the head.
  30. For Serial Killer Andrew Cunanan in 1997 at the age of 27 by a shot through the head.
  31. For Poet Charlotte Stieglitz in 1834 at the age of 28 by driving a dagger through her heart.
  32. For Artist Rudolf Schwarzkogler in 1969 at the age of 28 by jumping through his window.
  33. For Actress Carole Landis in 1948 at the age of 29 by an overdose of Seconal.
  34. For Crown Prince Rudolf Habsburg in 1889 at the age of 30 by a shot through the head.
  35. For Actor Ross Alexander in 1937 at the age of 30 by a shot in the head.
  36. For Serial Killer Richard Chase in 1980 at the age of 30 by drug-overdose.
  37. For Jack the Ripper-suspect Montague John Druitt in 1888 at the age of 31 by drowning.
  38. For Mad Marylin fan Eustolio Monroe in 1962 at the age of 31 by an overdose of sleeping-pills.
  39. For King of Rome Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus Nero in 68 at the age of 31 by cutting his throat.
  40. For Actress Karen Lancaume in 2005 at the age of 32 by an overdose of medication.
  41. For Hitler’s secret lover Geli Raubal in 1931 at the age of 33 by a shot through the head.
  42. For Terrorist Gudrun Ennslin in 1940 at the age of 33 by a gunshot.
  43. For Nazi-Doctor in Buchenwald and typhoid-expert Dr. Ding-Schuler in 1945 at the age of 33 by hanging.
  44. For Serial Killer Rudolf Pleil in 1958 at the age of 33 by hanging in his prison cell.
  45. For Terrorist Jan-Carl Raspe in 1977 at the age of 33 by a gunshot.
  46. For Poet, dramatist and writer Heinrich von Kleist in 1811 at the age of 34 by a gunshot.
  47. For Pedophile Walter Quicker in 1962 at the age of 34 by hanging.
  48. For Mass-Murderer Roger Girard in 1965 at the age of 34 by a shot in the head.
  49. For Terrorist Andreas Baader in 1977 at the age of 34 by a gunshot.
  50. For Actor Patrick Dewaere in 1982 at the age of 35 by a shot through the head.
  51. For Mass Murderer George Hennard in 1991 at the age of 35 by a shot through the head.
  52. For Futurist writer Vladimir Mayakovski in 1930 at the age of 36 by a shot through the heart.
  53. For Actor John Bowers in 1936 at the age of 36 by drowning.
  54. For Actress and stunt-woman Mary Wiggins in 1945 at the age of 36 by a shot through the head.
  55. For Actress Marilyn Monroe in 1962 at the age of 36 by drug-overdose.
  56. For Serial Killer Dimitris Vakrinos in 1997 at the age of 36 by hanging in prison.
  57. For Mass Murderer Joseph Gautsch in 1997 at the age of 36 by a shot through the head.
  58. For Spree Killer Günther Ewen in 1999 at the age of 36 by a shot in the head.
  59. For Historian and author Iris Chang in 2004 at the age of 36 by a shot through the head.
  60. For Artist Vincent Van Gogh in 1890 at the age of 37 by a shot in the stomach.
  61. For Terrorist Gudrun Ennslin in 1977 at the age of 37 by hanging.
  62. For Filmmaker Rainer Werner Fassbinder in 1982 at the age of 37 by drug-overdose.
  63. For INXS lead-singer Michael Hutchence in 1997 at the age of 37 by hanging.
  64. For Artist Wilhelm Lehmbruck in 1919 at the age of 38 due to distress in his ongoing state of depression.
  65. For Cop-killer Barry Prudom in 1982 at the age of 38 by a shot through the head.
  66. For Empress Cleopatra VII Philopator in 30bc at the age of 39 by the bite of a poisonous snake.
  67. For Actress Pier Angeli in 1971 at the age of 39 by an overdose of barbiturates.
  68. For Serial Killer Leonard Lake in 1985 at the age of 39 by cyanide-poisoning.
  69. For Mass Murderer Cyrano Marks in 1999 at the age of 39 by a shot in the head.
  70. For Mass-Murderer Reuben Rolle in 1964 at the age of 40 by a shot through the head.
  71. For Actress Jean Seberg in 1979 at the age of 40 by an overdose of barbiturates and alcohol.
  72. For Serial Killer Javed Iqbal in 2001 at the age of 40 by hanging in his prison cell.
  73. For Artist Nicolas de Staël in 1955 at the age of 41 due to depression.
  74. For Murderer Emil Tillman in 1958 at the age of 41 by hanging in his prison cell.
  75. For Terrorist Ulrike Meinhof in 1976 at the age of 41 by hanging.
  76. For Gangster and kidnapper Patrick Haemers in 1993 at the age of 41 by hanging in his prison cell.
  77. For Jean Harlow’s husband Paul Bern in 1932 at the age of 42 by a shot in the head.
  78. For Actor Jack Dougherty in 1938 at the age of 42 by coal-monoxide-poisoning.
  79. For Serial Killer Joe Ball in 1938 at the age of 42 by a shot through the head.
  80. For Mathematician and cryptographer Alan Turing in 1954 at the age of 42 by eating an apple laced with cyanide.
  81. For Mass-Murderer Walter Seifert in 1964 at the age of 42 by poisoning.
  82. For Actress Dorothy Dandridge in 1965 at the age of 42 by drug-overdose on Imipramine, a tricyclic antidepressant.
  83. For Mass-Murderer James Pough in 1990 at the age of 42 by a shot through the head.
  84. For Murderer Dale Cavaness in 1968 at the age of 43 by hanging in his prison cell.
  85. For Actress Natalie Wood in 1981 at the age of 43 by drowning.
  86. For Serial Killer Gary Evans in 1998 at the age of 43 by drowning.
  87. For Poet and philosopher Titus Lucretius in 55 at the age of 44 by drinking a love potion.
  88. For Ship’s captain George Harper in 1863 at the age of 44 by drowning.
  89. For Nazi-leader Martin Bormann in 1945 at the age of 44 by cyanide-poisoning.
  90. For Nazi leader Heinrich Himmler in 1945 at the age of 44 by cyanide-poisoning.
  91. For Artist Arshile Gorky in 1948 at the age of 44 by hanging.
  92. For Actor and comedian Anthony Hancock in 1968 at the age of 44 by an overdose of drugs and alcohol.
  93. For Weirdo Albert Brust in 1973 at the age of 44 by cyanide-poisoning.
  94. For Mass-murderer Patrick Sherril in 1986 at the age of 44 by a shot through the head.
  95. For Larry Walters in 1993 at the age of 44 by a shot through the heart.
  96. For Serial Killer Jack Unterweger in 1994 at the age of 44 by hanging in his prison cell.
  97. For Mass murderer Mark Barton in 1999 at the age of 44 by a shot through the head.
  98. For Actor George Reeves in 1959 at the age of 45 by a shot through the head.
  99. For Writer Yukio Mishima in 1970 at the age of 45 by Harakiri.
  100. For Artillery-engineer Friedrich Krupp in 1902 at the age of 46 due to a newspaper reporting about a homosexual escapade on Capri.
  101. For Writer Kurt Tucholski in 1935 at the age of 46 by an overdose of sleeping-pills.
  102. For Wife-murderer and matricider Donald Merret in 1954 at the age of 46 by a shot through the head.
  103. For Millionaire Dieter Engelbrecht in 1985 at the age of 46 by hanging in his prison cell.
  104. For Mass Murderer Ronald Taylor in 1998 at the age of 46 by jumping from a freeway overpass.
  105. For Nazi leader Joseph Goebbels in 1945 at the age of 47 by poison and a shot through the head.
  106. For Millionaire George Vanderbilt in 1961 at the age of 47 by jumping through his window.
  107. For Actress Judy Garland in 1969 at the age of 47 by drug-overdose.
  108. For Murderer of his wife and daughter Sam Sheppard in 1970 at the age of 47 by an overdose of drugs and alcohol.
  109. For German Priest Oskar Brüsewitz in 1976 at the age of 47 by self-immolation.
  110. For Founder of the People’s Temple Reverend Jim Jones in 1978 at the age of 47 by a shot through the head.
  111. For War leader Marshall Abdel Amer in 1967 at the age of 48 by poisoning.
  112. For Photographer Diane Arbus in 1971 at the age of 48 by slashing her wrists.
  113. For Mass Murderer Alvin King in 1981 at the age of 48 by hanging.
  114. For Musician Wendy O. Williams in 1998 at the age of 48 by a shot through the head.
  115. For Serial Killer Herbert Baumeister in 1996 at the age of 49 due to a chase by the police.
  116. For Actor Charles Butterworth in 1946 at the age of 50 by a car crash.
  117. For Xenophobic Serial Bomber Franz Fuchs in 2000 at the age of 50 by hanging in his prison cell with the cable of an electric razor.
  118. For Actor Tyler Brooke in 1943 at the age of 51 by coal-monoxide-poisoning.
  119. For Actor Pedro Armendariz in 1963 at the age of 51 by a shot through the head.
  120. For Dominican nun and musician Jeanine Deckers in 1985 at the age of 51 due to a depression after being harrassed for years by the Belgian tax-services.
  121. For ‘Brother’ of Lou Salomé and rival of Friedrich Nietzsche, Paul Ludwig Carl Heinrich Ree in 1901 at the age of 52 by jumping off a rock.
  122. For Swedish ‘Lucifer-king’ Ivan Kreuger in 1932 at the age of 52 by gunshots.
  123. For Minister of science, technology and energy, Damrong Lathapipat in 1985 at the age of 52 by a shot through the head.
  124. For Emperor Marcus Antonius in 30 at the age of 53 by slashing his abdomen with a sword.
  125. For Nazi Leader Erwin Rommel in 1944 at the age of 53 by cyanide-poisoning.
  126. For Nazi-leader Hermann Goering in 1946 at the age of 53 by cyanide-poisoning.
  127. For Nazi-Gauleiter Alex Laak in 1960 at the age of 53 by coal-monoxide-poisoning.
  128. For Serial Killer Frederick West in 1995 at the age of 53 by hanging in his prison cell.
  129. For Mass Murderer William Beadle in 1783 at the age of 54 by cutting his throat.
  130. For Serial Killer Carl Denke in 1924 at the age of 54 by hanging in his prison cell.
  131. For The world’s most pulchritudinous evangelist Aimée Semple McPherson in 1944 at the age of 54 by an overdose of sleeping-pills.
  132. For Japanese admiral Takijiro Onishi in 1945 at the age of 54 by Harakiri.
  133. For Musician Dalida in 1987 at the age of 54 by an overdose of sleeping-pills.
  134. For President Zviad Gamsachoerdia in 1993 at the age of 54 by a shot through the head.
  135. For Serial Killer Gerd Wenzinger in 1997 at the age of 54 by hanging in his prison cell.
  136. For Serial Killer Charles Ray Hatcher in 1984 at the age of 55 by hanging.
  137. For Führer of the Third Reich Adolf Hitler in 1945 at the age of 56 by poison and a shot through the head.
  138. For Auschwitz-KZ executioner Friedrich Simon in 1960 at the age of 56 by hanging in his prison cell.
  139. For General Practitioner and Serial Killer Harold Shipman in 2002 at the age of 56 by hanging in his prison cell.
  140. For Murderess Mildred Bolton in 1943 at the age of 57 by cutting her wrists with a pair of scissors.
  141. For FBI-agent Melvin Purvis in 1960 at the age of 57 by a shot through the head.
  142. For Writer Jerzy Kosinski in 1991 at the age of 57 by asphyxiation with a plastic bag in his bath.
  143. For Writer, traveler and political analyst Gertrude Bell in 1926 at the age of 58 by an overdose of sleeping-pills.
  144. For Artist Ernst Ludwig Kirchner in 1938 at the age of 58 due to distress after the destruction of approximately 600 of his works by the Nazis because of 'degeneration'.
  145. For Musician Lord Screamin' David Sutch in 1999 at the age of 58 by hanging.
  146. For Murderer and litterary talent Jack Henry Abbott in 2002 at the age of 58 by hanging with a shoelace in his prison cell.
  147. For Writer Virginia Woolf in 1941 at the age of 59 by drowning.
  148. For Writer, journalist and explorer William Seabrook in 1945 at the age of 59 by drug-overdose.
  149. For Minister of Labour Robert Boulin in 1979 at the age of 59 by drowning.
  150. For Ex-wife of Pablo Picasso, Jacqueline Picasso in 1986 at the age of 60 by a shot through the head.
  151. For Swindler Philip Musica in 1938 at the age of 61 by a shot through the head.
  152. For Prime-minister of Hungary Pal Teleki in 1941 at the age of 61 by a shot through the head.
  153. For Writer Stefan Zweig in 1942 at the age of 61 by an overdose of Veronal.
  154. For KZ-Commander-wife and human-skin-handywoman Ilse Koch in 1967 at the age of 61 by hanging in her prison cell.
  155. For Artist Jan Cox in 1980 at the age of 61 due to recurring depressions.
  156. For Automobile manufacterer Arthur Chevrolet in 1946 at the age of 62 by hanging due to depression.
  157. For Writer Ernest Hemingway in 1961 at the age of 62 by a shot in the head.
  158. For Nazi-Doctor Werner Heyde in 1964 at the age of 62 by hanging in his prison cell.
  159. For Great Train Robber Buster Edwards in 1994 at the age of 62 by hanging.
  160. For Actor, screenwriter and playwright Spalding Gray in 2004 at the age of 62 by drowning.
  161. For Situationist writer and filmmaker Guy Debord in 1994 at the age of 63 by a shot through the heart.
  162. For Artist Jean Gros in 1835 at the age of 64 due to drowning.
  163. For Social theorist Theodor Adorno in 1969 at the age of 65 by heart palpitations after climbing a 3000m mountain against advice by his doctor.
  164. For Vietnamese Monk Thich Quang Duc in 1963 at the age of 66 by self-immolation.
  165. For Artist Mark Rothko in 1970 at the age of 66 by slashing his wrists.
  166. For Filmmaker James Whale in 1957 at the age of 67 by drowning in his swimming pool.
  167. For Writer Hunter Thompson in 2005 at the age of 67 by a shot in the head.
  168. For Actor Spencer Charters in 1943 at the age of 68 by coal-monoxide poisoning combined with sleeping tablets.
  169. For ‘Gloomy Sunday’-composer Reszoe Seres in 1968 at the age of 69 by jumping through his window.
  170. For Terrorist Shinichi Hachiya in 1987 at the age of 69 by poisoning.
  171. For Criminologist Bernard Spilsbury in 1947 at the age of 70 by gas poisoning.
  172. For Philosopher Gilles Deleuze in 1995 at the age of 70 by jumping through the window of his apartment.
  173. For Gestapo leader for Belgium Ernst Ehlers in 1980 at the age of 71 by hanging. SF-writer Alice Sheldon in 1987 at the age of 71 by a shot in the head. Serial Killer John Wayne Glover in 2005 at the age of 73 by hanging in his prison cell.
  174. For USSR Minister of Foreign Affairs Nikolai Sjetsjelokow in 1984 at the age of 74 by a shot in the head after a degradation.
  175. For Artist Pierre Molinier in 1976 at the age of 75 by a shot through the head.
  176. For Photography pioneer George Eastman in 1932 at the age of 77 by a shot through the heart.
  177. For Writer Arthur Koestler in 1983 at the age of 77 by a drug overdose.
  178. For Widow of Leader Mao, Jiang Qing in 1991 at the age of 77 by a drug overdose.
  179. For Actor Charles Boyer in 1978 at the age of 79 by an overdose of Seconal.
  180. For Murderer Franciscus V. in 1987 at the age of 83 by drowning.
  181. For Child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim in 1990 at the age of 86 due to depression.
  182. For Nazi leader Rudolf Hess in 1987 at the age of 97 by asphyxiation.

Gloomy Sunday by Lydia Lunch tripped on the beat with Sewercide by Electric Eels shot off with Suicidal Dream by Silverchair dropped down with I'm Down by Calvin Johnson bittersweeted with Final Solution by Pere Ubu smothered with Lithium (Dj Buhtl Remix) by Nirvana cut down with Just a Thought by Gnarls Barkley tightly blown away with Suicide Snowman by Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids laced with Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks dreamed over with Why Kill Time (When You Can Kill Yourself)? by Cabaret Voltaire terminated with Endless Vacation by The Ramones returned with The Thoughts of Emerlist Davjack by The Nice.
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carl don´t cry, i would mayby like to use the praise you song for the fashion show. where can i get it? and the other stuff? *
ranesh, boys don't cry! tell me what tunes u want and they will mysteriously appear in your hands sometime soon. *
i like the praise you with krishna and rama , it´s great! can it possibly magicly unexpectedly arise before tuesday? thanks a lot.. if you wanna take part in some happy hippi happening, you have to come tomorrow at 15.00. dress in one colour only, it´s johannas birthday and we´re gonna make a movie. you are welcome to bring an instrument. *
ranivel, thank you my dear! ooh, it looks like you are in great need.... i will see what i can do. oh gosh, i'm too shy for that kind of thing. i prefer to stay in my shack next to the railway track. my only friends are two turntables and a microphone, cassette players and some synths. we party a lot and sometimes we sit down and cry, cry cry cry 96 tears. vel vel vetrivel - sutri vandhu emmai kaakkum - subramanya vel. *
ranivel, apparently some gobetween delivered u the tunes let me know if u need special treatment. *
hallo carl, some weird man gave me your cd. thank you very much, i will be happy with it. until now it was not really possible to listen to it, my brain felt to dry because i spent the night in the desert. *
rani hare, damn those weird men rippin' my tunes onto a cd and stealing all the goodlooking girls before my eyes while i'm all alone sobbing in my shack with nothing but the turntables and a microphone. let's spend the nExt night in the dEsert together. or let's meet at the fashion show for which you managed to trick some fine dj's into playing their tunes. aargh, right now i will go and pray, pray pray pray to become a real good dj. Carl Cryplant
Blue Velvet by Bobby Vinton walked over with These Boots are Made for Walking by Nancy Sinatra fadeslaved with Je Dis Fame, a mashup of David Bowie vs. M by Dj Zebra overslaved with Get Naked by Methods of Mayhem tripped on the beat with Lust for My Adidas, a mashup of Iggy Pop vs. Run DMC by Dj Moule dressed over with Fashion Rules by Chicks on Speed stepped on with Boots by Nancy Sinatra (performed by The Residents) needlesharp cut with Fashion Suicide by Neon Rain naturally flavoured with Get Your Bootie on the Floor Tonight, a mashup of Eurythmics vs. Technotronic by Processor Tournesol short sleeve faded with Itsi Bitsi Petit Bikini by Timmy Mallet (performed by Dalida) undressed with Three Bikinis on the Rocks, a mashup of The Clash vs. Vegomatic by Métamix transgendered with Un Garçon en Mini-Jupe by Karo lapped off with I'm the Man in Black, a mashup of Johnny Cash vs. Will Smith by Voicedude pulled off with I Shit My Pants by The Fugs.
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Care Amici Soldati, I hooked up my turntables and a microphone along with some synths and a cassette player, dressed in my drab raincoat and went off digging some trenches to gun you down with some assaultive tunes that fit well into 44'44" so you can put them on a good old cassette and play them on your walkman when you're off to Boot Camp. Der Krieg ist nur die Fortsetzung der Muzik aber mit anderen Mitteln! or, as my beloved uncle Filippo Tommaso Marinetti used to say:
  1. We want to sing the love of danger, the habit of energy and rashness.
  2. The essential elements of our poetry will be courage, audacity and revolt.
  3. Literature has up to now magnified pensive immobility, ecstasy and slumber. We want to exalt movements of aggression, feverish sleeplessness, the double march, the perilous leap, the slap and the blow with the fist.
  4. We declare that the splendor of the world has been enriched by a new beauty: the beauty of speed. A racing automobile with its bonnet adorned with great tubes like serpents with explosive breath ... a roaring motor car which seems to run on machine-gun fire, is more beautiful than the Victory of Samothrace.
  5. We want to sing the man at the wheel, the ideal axis of which crosses the earth, itself hurled along its orbit.
  6. The poet must spend himself with warmth, glamour and prodigality to increase the enthusiastic fervor of the primordial elements.
  7. Beauty exists only in struggle. There is no masterpiece that has not an aggressive character. Poetry must be a violent assault on the forces of the unknown, to force them to bow before man.
  8. We are on the extreme promontory of the centuries! What is the use of looking behind at the moment when we must open the mysterious shutters of the impossible? Time and Space died yesterday. We are already living in the absolute, since we have already created eternal, omnipresent speed.
  9. We want to glorify war - the only cure for the world - militarism, patriotism, the destructive gesture of the anarchists, the beautiful ideas which kill, and contempt for woman.
  10. We want to demolish museums and libraries, fight morality, feminism and all opportunist and utilitarian cowardice.
  11. We will sing of the great crowds agitated by work, pleasure and revolt; the multi-colored and polyphonic surf of revolutions in modern capitals: the nocturnal vibration of the arsenals and the workshops beneath their violent electric moons: the gluttonous railway stations devouring smoking serpents; factories suspended from the clouds by the thread of their smoke; bridges with the leap of gymnasts flung across the diabolic cutlery of sunny rivers: adventurous steamers sniffing the horizon; great-breasted locomotives, puffing on the rails like enormous steel horses with long tubes for bridle, and the gliding flight of aeroplanes whose propeller sounds like the flapping of a flag and the applause of enthusiastic crowds.

Overture from Lawrence of Arabia by Maurice Jarre overtaken with Care Amici by Laibach roared over with Der Mussolini by DAF shattered with Greenwar Theme One by Winterkälte romanticized with Soldier Boy by The Shirelles gunned down with 78 Soldiers Dead by The 39 Clocks blasted away with Kill for Peace by The Fugs intelligized with The War Against Intelligence by The Fall overcome by Holidays in the Sun by The Sex Pistols suppressed with This Means War by Busta Rhymes & Ozzy Osbourne overtaken with War within Diesel Power, a mashup of The Prodigy vs. The Machine by Mad Martigan raided with Shit and Peace by Bathtub Shitter sneaked upon with The Fall of Saigon by This Heat called off with Red Alert by Teenage Jesus & The Jerks.
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What a wasted Sunday getting up in the morning with the Monster task of a Request from a respected member over at the 'Get Your Bootleg On' forum. Some deeds are dirty but need to be done and while I'm a DJ I might as well make your day. And boy what a Day! On this day in 1577, I went to see this old friend of mine who just gave birth to her sun who would turn out a fine painter, Peter Paul Rubens over in Siegen, Germany. Then I had to speed off on this day into 1712 to congratulate another friend with another birth of a son who would become known as the composer Jean-Jacques Rousseau in Genf, Germany. After a nice serenade I crossed the border toward Châteldon, Puy-de-Dôme, France in 1883 to witness on this day the birth of Pierre Laval who made it up to four times as prime minister in France, but chose the wrong path during the War and was executed upon it's end when on October 15th. That was still a while to go, because before that on this day I sailed over the ocean in 1891 and greeted Serial Killer Carl Panzram on this bloody globe in the USA where he would write a fine 'Journal of Murder'. I stayed over for about 10 years until this day in 1901 to see Murderer Frank Miller getting executed by hanging at the age of 44 in Alabama. Tired of all that shit I booked a ticket on the Norge Ocean Liner towards the United Kingdom, unfortunately I was involved in a shipwreck on this day in 1904 near Rockall Reef, Scotland, while over 600 died, I luckily survived. So I made a journey of about 10 years to Sarajevo, Yugoslavia. In 1914 I got acquainted with a local anarchist Gavrilo Princip, who right on this day had the idea of shooting Franz Ferdinand of Austria to death so I could witness the start of the Great World War I. Since the heat was definitely on, I joined some fellows on the Red Star Line a crossed the ocean once again to arrive in New Orleans, Louisiana on this day in 1918, when promptly Harriet Lowe was attacked by someone who's identity I cannot reveal, let's say the 'Axe-Man of New Orleans'. I lingered on till 1926 when on this day I happened to watch Melvin Kaminsky's birth while I was working as a Registered Nurse in New York, ah yes, you guys probably know him better as Mel Brooks. But anyway, I kept working in the same hospital in the Big Apple when just seven years later on this day in 1933 a quite heavy character named Roscoe Conklin ‘Fatty’ Arbuckle was brought in with a heart-attack. I recognised him as the actor, filmmaker and womanizer aka 'The Heavy-Weight Rapist' of Virginia Rappe who died of peronitis due to a crushed bladder after spending a night with 'Fatty' in the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco back in 1921. At the age of 46 I just left him to die. I kind of enjoyed hoboing around the States, and by 1935 I successfully had a part-time job as an executioner at Sing Sing Prison where on this day I had the honour to accompany murderess Eva Coo aka 'Madame' to have a last seat in Old Sparky. Since I was so good at my hobby cum job, I continued to travel to North Carolina in 1940 to put murderer Ruf Satterfield in the Gas Chamber on this day at the age of 44. Of course everybody needs a little vacation once in a while, I was in for some exotism so I took my heels to Port-of-Spain, Trinidad. On this day in 1955 I was just in time to watch murderer Dr. Dalip Lutchmie Persap being executed by hanging from my hotel window. You wouldn't believe the kind of things these poor countries put on their tourist trips for an extra buck. Unfortunately I had to leave early on this day, because my attention was needed in 1957 to attend the deathbed of writer Alfred Döblin who was dying at the age of 78 in Germany. I lingered on for a while but was back when on this day in 1962 I moved into 1435 Commonwealth in Boston, Massachussets, USA when promptly my 85-year-old neighbour Mary Mullen was killed due to heart-failure in the course of being assaulted by Albert DeSalvo aka 'The Boston Strangler', what a bummer. For 9 years I kept cool and got involved in petty crime just once in a while until this day in 1971 when I was supposed to meet Maffia-leader Joseph 'Joe' Colombo in New York, just when I got a glimpse of him, he was shot by an unidentified black man at the age of 48 to leave him in a vegetation coma for the next seven years of his life. Some guys have all the luck. From then on I lived on the thirteenth floor of the 'Twilight Zone' department store until 1975 when Tv-series-maker Rod Serling died on this day at the age of 50. I was again dying for some air and decided to go on a hunting holiday with my old time pal Robert Hansen aka 'The Aviation Hunter'. On this day in 1980 for some reason he had the idea to abduct 24-year-old Roxanne Easlund from the Northern Lights Boulevard in Anchorage, Alaska and shoot her dead with one prime shot. The hunting sport wasn't my favourite pastime after all so by this day in 1981 I had moved to Iran to escape by a hair a bomb-attack in which 94 died. Amongst the dead were 9 ministers and party-leader Ayatollah Mohammed Behesti. Knowing that another war was being bred on I grabbed the chance on this day in 1984 to move into Chapman Street, Eagle Rock, Los Angeles. Already while unpacking Richard Ramirez aka 'The Nightstalker' turned up to rape and stab to death 79-year-old Jennie Vincow. He left me some fine drawings though. By this day in 1986 I really started digging this kind of action and invited Kenneth Erskine aka 'The Stockwell Strangler' to sexually assault and strangle 84-year-old Valentine Gleim in my lodgings at Somerville Hastings House, Stockwell Park Road, London, United Kingdom. And finally back home on this day in 1995 after What a Day, What a Terrible Day i noticed that Theodore Ted Kaczinski aka 'The UnaBomber', had mailed some letters to the New York Times and Washington Post from his little shack in the woods of the USA. That reminded me I urgently had to go to my very own shack next to the railway track to set up set up my turntables and the microphone, cassete player and a synthesizer to cook up something for you dear pal to listen to in the morning. What a wasted Sunday, why not spend the next one with.... Carl Cryplant.
The Gift by The Velvet Underground masterslaved with Heute Hier Morgen Dort by Hannes Wader beaten on the beat with Good Morning Baltimore from the Hairspray Soundtrack squirmed over with Il Est 5 Heures, Paris s'éveille by Jacques Dutronc (performed by Les Rats) overfaded with Goeiemorgen Morgen by Nicole en Hugo beaten into Pure Morning by Placebo droned into Angel of the Morning by The Carpenters dropped in with Monday Morning by Pere Ubu overlapped with Napalm in the Morning from the Apocalypse Now Soundtrack short cut with Saturday Morning by the Eels masterslaved with Good Morning Starshine by Peter, Paul and Mary again masterslaved with 7 Heures du Matin by Jacqueline Taieb eternally overraided with Sun Arise by Alice Cooper.
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Long time no see my friend, here's why: monday 24 oct. In the evening I confess to my mother that I supposedly have candida albicans. Candida is a fungus that grow between the head and body of the penis and regularly discharges white lumps. I tell her that it smells. I put on a record by Death in June. Half an hour later I am with our hippie doctor and tell him I already have it for 5 years. Impossible he says, "this is an ordinary phimesis". I see the light, I have come across this disease in my physionomic atlases. saturday 29 oct. In the diagnostic center I meet with doctor L, a kind man. Phimosis is just like schisis a born deformation where the foreskin of the penis cannot be withdrawn. I had always found it very strange to see men with the head of the penis naked. The white lumps were smegma turned hard. This phimosis dominated 5 years of my life, but I am glad I had it. "Shall we operate on monday?" the doctor asked me. I agree, the sooner the better. monday 31 oct. At 8.20 am I am at the St; Elisabeth Hospital. Then I notice I have to go to the Holy Heart Hospital. Once in my room I set up my turntables and the microphone, cassete player and a synthesizer, and I have to complete a list of questions. Around half past nine I get a sedative shot. About an hour later I'm driven through a maze of hallways to the operating theatre. It's cold there and I'm shaking. I regain consciousness in a small room. I notice a fierce pain in my crotch but I cannot imagine I'm operated already. I sleep, I wake, I'm taken back to my room. A nurse comes and removes the blanket to check my crotch, that it doesn't bleed too much. I can only see a large pool of blood. On my penis (or what is left), I see about 10 bandages, bloodstained. The sheets are covered with blood. I wonder why I haven't chopped it off all the way. The night nurse comes to check my crotch every several hours. She's very nice, always smiling. tuesday 1 nov. In the morning I get new bandages around my penis for the first time. I still don't know what's going on, too tired to watch and miserable. The wound is filled with pus. My penis is swollen and looks like a catfish. This is the first time I see the head of a penis, the foreskin is still pulled backwards. I read and write 20 pages in my notebook. On the wall is a Jesus taped to his cross. My penis is also taped. I smile. In the evening my parents come to visit me. They brought 3 donuts and some mail, 2 excellent letters. There's a funny smell in my room and my parents leave after 20 minutes. My father shakes my hand. My mother smiles. Since I'm no good with computers and all that digital stuff I recorded my pleasures onto a C-90 audio-cassette. I thought you might like to hear it. Your pal, Carl Cryplant.
Sex Alarm by Siren masterslaved with Fuck the Pain Away beaten on the beat with C'mon Fuck Me, a mashup of Fatboy Slim vs. Simian vs. Disco D ft. Princess Superstar by Dj Zebra overlapped with Naked Lunch by Howard Shore and Ornette Coleman overlaid with Fucking in Heaven by Fatboy Slim masterslaved with Rasputin by Boney M whipped on the beat with Sex Machine by Mya dropped in with Ca Bitch Pour Moi, a mashup of Plastic Bertrand vs. The Prodigy by Devolve again dropped in with Es ist Geil ein Arschloch Zu Sein by Christian aka Der Nominator beaten on the Aus with Detachable Penis by King Missile faded in with The Body Rules by Jesse 'the Body' Ventura faded in with The Lady is a Punisher by Somnabula beaten on the beat with My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy by Cletus T. Judd tightly fitted with Sit on My Face by Monty Python.

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